This is a question I often asked myself. I not only have survived child abuse but found myself continuously becoming involved with partners that were either, physically, mentally or emotionally abusive. I had no self esteem and felt that because of the initial abuse received as a child that I was being punished and therefore deserved the abuse as an adult. This happens so much in the lives of victims, they feel guilty and hold themselves responsible for the actions of the abuser. Because of the child abuse I had been robbed of a happy childhood which carried on into adulthood simply because the only life I knew was filled with abuse so I somehow ended up with an abusive partner. It is what the psychologists called an "abusive cycle." Without even knowing it I was attracting those types of relationships.
After undergoing years of therapy I finally confronted my initial abuser and according to the therapist that action would "heal me". Wow, were they ever wrong. I spent years battling depression and anxiety which was still a result of the abuse and the guilt that I had endured for years. I eventually became so depressed that I was having a very difficult time coping with every day life. This led to years of taking countless different anti-depressants and tranquilizers. You find yourself asking questions like, "why me", or "what did I do to deserve this", and "will I ever find peace and true happiness".
If you or someone you know has ever been abused you know exactly what I am talking about. Now here is the beauty. YOU CAN BE HAPPY AND OVERCOME. The Happiness comes from within. I have found that my inner spiritual self is more powerful than any psychologist or drug.
I have made this a personal quest, to share what has taken me years to find. It took me 30 years of struggling before I found the healing power of meditation.
Although I had tried many methods of "mental healing", none has provided me with the inner peace and power of my mind like meditation. The more I meditated the more I was in control of my thoughts, my actions, my moods and able to laugh at all obstacles that life threw at me. Meditation taught me that I WAS IN CONTROL of my mind and my life. I was able to throw away all the drugs that I had been taking for years and live a happy, fulfilling and normal loving life.
All it takes is a few minutes a day to sit in a quiet location, wherever that may be and meditate, seeking your strength and power from within.
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